I would write:
Dear Diary.
Today i convinced myself that its okay to give up.
Don't take risks.
Stick to status quo, no drama, now is just not the time.
But my reasons are not reasons, they are exuses, all Im doing is haiding from the truht, and the truth is that I'm scared Stefan. Im scared that if I let myself be happy for even one moment that the world is just gonna come crashing down and I dont know if I can survive that.

Do you wanna know what I would write?
I met a girl.
We talked, it was epic, but then the sun came up and reality set in. 
Well this is reality 
Right here.

Ur serien The Vampire Diares.
Fastnat helt för den nu så här på morgonkvisten.
Thank god för bra tv serier som man bara kan drömma sig bort med.
Ja, så mycket vampyr hysteri just nu, men alltså en vampyr skulle ju inte vara helt fel.
De är helt klart tillåtet att drömma lite.

Dags att sova kanske.
Ledig imorgon (idag)..ska bara städa och mysa hemma hela dagen.
Natti